The End

Even though we have one day left of our trip, this will be my last blog......I can't believe that it is over. It is a bitter sweet ending. I am looking forward to coming home to see my kids...I have not spoken to them in 15 days, and I usually talk to them on a daily basis. I miss them so much, I really do, I can't wait to call both of them the minute I land in Chicago. However, I am not looking forward to coming home to 20 days of work and stress that I left behind.

As I sit back tonight while everyone is infront of the fire and talking, laughing and enjoying a glass of wine, I am reflecting on this entire trip and my life......and realize just how fast it went.

This trip has been something that has been better than imagined, something better than any of my wildest dreams could of imagined and through all the planning (for 10 years) exceeded my expectations by 100 fold......And as I sit here and type my last blog, memories of our trip come flashing through my mind..........

Michael and I sat on the steps of a church in one of the villages that we visited, and watched 2 children, a little boy and a girl chasing the pigeons around the courtyard. They were probably around the ages of 6 and 3, and the little girl followed her older brother throughout the square as he chased and tried to kick all of the pigeons. We just sat there for approximately 45 minutes and just watched them run around, chasing all the pigeons and the parents trying so hard to follow them and settle them down. It brought me back to the time when we use to take Christi and Mikey to the lakefront in Milwaukee to feed the ducks...

We would save up our bread for weeks, put all the crumbs in buckets, then bundle up and go down to the lakefront and park along Martin Luther King Drive, get out of the car, and start throwing bread towards the ducks.....They would flock towards all of the bread crumbs and as Christi would throw the crumbs to them, Mikey would chase all the ducks away. However, they would come flying back (obviously because they wanted the food), but Mikey would still chase them away and Christi would yell at him for chasing the ducks away, because she just wanted to feed them and Mikey wanted to chase them. During those times, we just laughed, but now, as we sat and watched these children chase the pigeons, we both realized just how fast life has gone by.

Its hard to imagine that my children are 27 and 23, that even though we have spent our entire lifes trying to make the best of being the best parents, that sometimes you sit back and say......If only I......I wish I would of not worked so hard, I wish I would of gone to more of Christi's tracks meets....I only went to one.....ok, I have to say, those track meets were so long, it is about 8 hours that you have to wait to watch your kid run for 15 seconds....Needless to say, I wish I would of gone to more.....I wish I would of been home when they came home from school to help with homework, to make them a good dinner, or just to be there. However, our lives resulted in working late and trying desperately to do the best that we can and it still continues to be so.

Tomorrow I turn 46 years old (happy b-day to me) and maybe as I reflect on the fact that I am closer to 50 then I was a year ago, and maybe because of the fact that I am sitting here on my second glass of wine, I am feeling just a little bit sorry for myself, it is still the fact that I am not getting any younger. I am tired of working so hard, I am tired of missing so much of my childrens lifes. I miss the thunder storms when Christi and Mikey would come down the steps with their blankets and crawl into bed with us because they were scared and just cuddle between Michael and I and feel so safe. It went so fast, I want to slow down and I am going to make some changes in my life to do so, even though it might involve some decisions that I just don't want to make.....Don't get me wrong, it is not going to be any marital decisions, as I could not imagine my life without Michael, but personal and business decisions that I need to make.

I want to spend more time with my husband, my kids, my family and my friends, before another 25 years goes flying by and I sit here and say "DAMM", I did it again......I am not going to allow this to happen....I have been blessed with such great friends, wonderful health, large families that care for us so deeply, and of course the benefit of giving life to two amazing kids.....and Michael. He is truly my sole mate, and I am not ashamed to say that. I thank everyday for having such a wonderful partner in my life, someone who will accept me for who I am (even though sometimes I can truly be a bitch) and will unconditionally love me. I am thankful for having the ability to give life to two children who were healthy, and have grown to be such amazing people....Who if it were up to me, I would spend every day with, but knowing that I need to let go and let them grow! My happiest days are when they both come home and spend the night at our house....I love Christmas, because that is the one time that I know they will both be home. It has been a joy watching them grow, but it has also been sad because I know that I am not needed as much as I was 10 years ago. However, I also can't wait to be a grandma.....I am so ready.........

So as to end this blog, I want to say to Christi and all of Christi's friends who are reading this.....I know that you are starting your family's, or thinking about starting one....Please listen to me on this one subject.......Take every moment and enjoy every moment of your husband and kids lifes, don't work so hard, because it goes so fast I truly mean that....It goes so fast....Don't think you need to have material items to make you happy, because what truly makes you happy is love and friendship. Be true to your feelings and be true to your self.

Thanks for following this journey with us, I wouldn't change one part of my life however, I wish it would slow down.........I love you all, and see you when I get back to America.

Ciao (sorry I have been spelling it wrong this entire trip)

I Love YOU CHRISTI AND MIKEY.......SEE YOU SOON